Hello, Goodbye.
2020 was a bitter and difficult pill to swallow. An all-out warfare against an invisible, foreign invader. A single force that was not limited by borders or social barriers, defied science and challenged everything we’ve ever known. It infiltrated bodies, divided the most brilliant of minds, sent shock waves through every major system and left us crippled in its wake.
This has been the reality of Covid-19. Our collective reality.
It was a year where so much has happened and yet, it felt like nothing really happened at all. A blend of days, weeks and months have come and gone in a blink of an eye and as I look back, I realized I’ve been in complete autopilot mode. Like many of you, I’m still trying to make sense of everything. I know daily routines kept me sorted and in-control during these unprecedented times – take the dishes out of the dishwasher before going into the office, get a cup of coffee before you start emails, tune in for the daily Covid-19 update at 3pm, so on and so forth. Structure should have felt familiar and easy to someone who lives life by an incredibly organized schedule – one with little to no room for detours. But for the first time, I recognized this was a very flawed and limited way of being.
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards” - Soren Kierkegaard
Although everything may still be a blur now, the dust will settle and hindsight will hopefully be a little more clear. Until then, we must press forward and the one thing that has brought me comfort and solace is knowing this - the resilience of the human spirit is a beautiful thing.
Believe it or not, life continued to happen around us. It is often so easy to get caught up in the sadness and tragedy that we forget to take a step back and celebrate the wins. 2020 was also a year when love conquered – love for our neighbours, for our country and democracy, for information and fact-based journalism, for science and education, for our family and friends, for our healthcare and essential workers, for our communities, and for ourselves. One of the greatest lessons that has emerged from 2020 is that when required, we will always rise to the occasion.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” - Plato
Ringing in a milestone birthday (the big 30) was particularly bittersweet. It was not what I imagined but at the same time, it was imperfectly perfect. To mark the end of my twenties, I was inspired to take a chance on myself and start this passion project. I want to use my love for writing to share thoughts, feelings and experiences that are often difficult to express out loud. In order to make room for new beginnings, let me first say goodbye.
To my twenty-something year old self, I’d like to take this opportunity to share a few parting thoughts and reflect on the lessons learned as we close this beautiful chapter of ours.
Don’t be disheartened by not meeting your timelines. Life never goes exactly as you planned because if it did, where’s the fun in that? We’ve experienced significant cultural and social shifts since our parents’ generation. Despite everything we’ve been taught growing up, I want you to know it’s not the end of the world if you didn’t finish post-secondary school, or can only afford a studio instead of the 2-bedroom condo you’ve wanted, or not getting a call-back from the top three employers on your list, or starting a family by the time you turn 30. Remember to live life with intention and purpose - find yours and don’t lose sight of it. Take advantage of every opportunity to claim your place in the world and your timelines will change and adapt accordingly.
Prioritize self-care. Life doesn’t get any less busy so it’s important to carve out time to check-in on yourself, to rebalance and reprioritize. If we’re prewired to understand the importance of investing time into school, work, relationships and a billion other things, then why not yourself? Make it a habit to plan out scheduled, uninterrupted “me-time” – whether it be to try out a new dinner recipe, read a book, watch your favourite show with a glass of wine, attend a fitness class, go on a hike with your pup, or whatever it is that puts an extra pep in your step. I know it’s difficult to put yourself first sometimes but trust me, burn-outs are a real thing. Prioritize self-care like you would an event, meeting, or appointment. Mark it in your calendar and stick to it.
Learn to say no. It’s important to identify the time bullies in your life – someone that causes a disruption to your schedule for their own reasons and gains. They can be coworkers that “need something to be done immediately” because they put an assignment off to the last minute or friends who are calling you out when you really should be working on a report. Having the courage to say no when it doesn’t serve you is a strength and not a weakness. Learn to set limits and boundaries because if you don’t respect your own time, you cannot expect others to.
Check your ego at the door. Everyone is on a journey and tumbles and falls are all part of the process. When this happens, try to be kind to yourself. Recognize and accept failures as lessons instead of roadblocks. Remember, you’re never too good to ask questions, to learn from others, to take responsibility for your words and actions, to apologize when you’ve made a mistake or to be a team player. Don’t stunt your own growth by being stubborn. Every hardship you encounter is an opportunity to grow and lift you higher.
Always make time for the important things. You will quickly learn that priorities continue to shift and change, as you do. People or things you previously “did not have time for” will eventually become highlights in your day. It can be very simple, everyday moments that we often take for granted such as a phone call to mom, a walk around the neighbourhood with a friend, taking an extra 5-minute detour to purchase produce from a local grocer, checking in on a neighbour, or picking up the guitar that’s been sitting in the corner. Putting in a little extra goes a long way – whether it be for yourself or someone else.
Embrace differences. The world is evolving and cookie-cutter content is being replaced with more diverse options. With the successful release of productions such as Bridgerton, Atypical, Parasite, Never Have I Ever, Modern Family and Schitt’s Creek, it’s safe to say that we are starving for more representation (people who look like us) and stories (people with shared or similar experiences). Remember - being different is not a threat. Embracing “different” people, cultures and qualities pave the way for a better understanding of who we are in the world around us. Strive to remain curious, open-minded, and a student of the world.